Antsolutely Delicious
by Silver Fingerprints
Summary: Antubis' private stock of ants was stolen. Now he must do whatever he can to get more. The staff of the hospital plays keep away with the new package while Stegman hunts Hook down for something he didn't do.


**Antsolutely Delicious**

**Author's Note: Hi everyone, I hope you like this new story I came up with. It's supposed to be funny (well, at least in later chapters), so, I hope you find it funny, too. I think that this will be my best and easiest fan fic I have ever written. And, here's a little _heads up_, since it's very easy to write this, you'll be seeing this updated a lot. **

**Sincerely,**

**Amelia Stanley**

**Prologue**

"Antubis! Antubis! Where are you?" Mary shouted, running down the Kingdom halls, hoping to find that anteater in time. "Antubis!" She sighed and stopped for a second, but decided that she should keep running.

A big boulder of fur walked in front of Mary, making her stumble. "Antubis! There you are! I've been looking for you almost all day!"

'I'm sorry, Mary. What can I do for you?' Antubis said apologetically. He swished his tail behind him as they walked in the hallway, watching one of the schizophrenic patients get rolled down the corridor back to the psychiatric floor. Antubis stared at him and said, 'Buddy, killin' your former high school teacher just because the voices told you to, doesn't make it right.' Antubis snickered, remembering all the other schizophrenic psychopathic homicidal maniacs he's dealt with. None of them ever lived in his hands, for they all had murder in their schedules, and wished to die anyway.

"I need to talk to you. Someone stole all of your secret ant stash. I tried looking for them, but all I found was your 'special ant bowl'." She said, holding the ant bowl gingerly in her hands. "It's chipped."

'It's not the bowl I'm worried about. I need those ants'

"Don't worry, we can get more." Mary assured.

'Yes, I know.' Antubis began, and had an idea. 'Could you do a solid for me, Mary?'

"Sure, Antubis. What?"

'Would you get a computer, make that a lab-top, and Stegman's credit card for me?' There was a tone of worry in the anteater's voice, making Mary uneasy.

"Yes, okay, Antubis. I'll get that for you now." She started to stroll away and Antubis walked back into the Old Kingdom silently though the wall.

**Chapter 1: In Need of Green**

**Mary looked over her shoulder as she tip-toed into Stegman's office. She tried to be as quiet as a mouse, like she did when she listened to Hagarty and Mr. Gottreich make the fire. She peered into the office, and saw Stegman standing in the window, yelling into his phone. "Revoke me! I don't give a lab rat's ass!" Then he hung up, slamming his cell phone on his desk, and walked out in a huff. He made a mistake. He left his wallet, with his credit card and driver's license. 'This will be easier than I thought.' Mary thought to herself. "I don't think he'll need his driver's license with the way he drives. He won't be able to go anywhere." She muttered under her breath.**

With a running start, Mary looked around, making sure no one was coming, and raced to the desk, snatched the wallet and all of its contents. When she thought that it was safe to run back, she turned around to rush back, but she stopped dead in her tracks when she heard Stegman coming back. His footsteps grew louder and she didn't know what to do. She muffled her scream, and dashed like mad into the Old Kingdom with the wallet.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" She knew that voice, it was her enemy right behind her. She dared not to look back. "A thief? I never thought, you Mary, a good little angel would steal." It was Paul. Her heart raced.

"Paul, just leave me alone. I don't want any trouble." Mary stammered.

"Hmmm, a little antsy to get out of here, eh? I bet you feel real small right now, like an ant, for stealing that wallet." Paul was being his mean self. He stood in front of her, at least a foot away. He blocked her from running. She didn't look at him, she didn't want to, she couldn't.

"No, Paul, just leave me alone." Mary repeated hesitantly, then forced Paul out of her way, pushing him as hard as she could to run and find Antubis.

In the New Kingdom, Stegman sat at his desk rummaging around in the mess he has for a desk. "Where in the hell did my wallet go?" He asked himself perplexedly. "Damn it. It was here a minute ago. Maine hick scum! I should just go back to Boston!" A tidal wave of frustration washed over him, causing him to grab his gun from the top drawer. "Hook, I'll get you for this!" He yelled. "You'll pay, Hook…" He muttered. "You'll pay…"


End file.
